"After the Airport"

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport
This is a link to a post on another adoptive mother's blog.  If you have not read it, you should.  Particularly if you are adopting, have adopted, or love someone who is on this journey.

Not Happening

Obviously, my "31 for 21" challenge is not happening...
Let's just chalk that one up to good intentions, and I will not commit to blog every day ever again!  I don't even have time to wash my hair every day, so I am not sure where I thought I was going to add blogging daily in to my routine.
Plenty of things have been happening, though, not all of which have been good.  On Monday night, I made a little (ahem) trip to the ER with Joshua, who then had to drink the dreaded charcoal liquid.  Yes, he had an ingestion situation of something that was not meant for him to swallow, but he is all fine now.  I am so very thankful and wearing several new grey hairs that I did not have on Monday morning.  On Wednesday, Joshua had speech therapy at 8:15 am, then we headed out for a road trip to the Secretary of State's office to get our adoption post placement reports apostilled.  We also walked around downtown for a little while, visiting the Archives building and the White House of the Confederacy.  Today, we have a field trip to tour the post office with our homeschool co-op group.  Tomorrow is therapy for Joel (physical, feeding, occupational).  There are, of course, other things on the schedule, as well, but I won't bore you with the details...
Hope your day is GREAT!

Flashback

This picture of Joel and I was taken on December 8, 2010 on our first trip to Bulgaria.  I remember that outfit was a 6-9 month size.  That particular day, I remember that we were able to take him out of the orphanage (accompanied by a worker) to have the photo for his visa taken.  It was such a special day for me, holding him while walking through the city.  I was just so very thankful for that opportunity, and I continue to feel that way every day.  So thankful.  So blessed.

Press "Pause", Press "Play"

I took a little hiatus in my "31 for 21" blogging challenge.  I had 4 extra kids for 2 days.  People always say things like, "If you can handle 3, you can handle 5" or "4 is really no different than 3".  NOT TRUE!  10 is more than 6.  Now, I am sure that if you actually have 10 kids, you arrange your life for that, and it becomes your normal.  However, I don't have 10, and while I absolutely enjoyed the chaos that ensued, I certainly had no time for blogging!  The laundry, dishes, changing, dressing, feeding, park-going, wiping, Clue playing, and redirecting took all of my time and then some.  Now, I am back, and will hopefully have a new post up tomorrow!
As far as today, I am going to try to balance my husband's need for us to get some work done around this house with my need to run away from this house!!!  The roofers are coming (I think), and I am anticipating much noise above our heads for the better part of the day.  8 people + much added noise makes me want to go outside.  Going outside in our yard could mean being hit in the head with a flying shingle!  I really better come up with a plan that takes us elsewhere...
Happy weekend to you all!

Homeschooling & Socialization

We home school.  We always have.  It is a great fit for our family, and most of the time, I enjoy it very much.  There are challenges at times, but I am sure there are challenges in any educational setting.  We work through them and move on.
Throughout the years, people have made many comments (positive and negative) to me about home schooling.  Honestly, it does not bother me at all if someone does not agree with our choices.  I am not a very defensive person, in general.  Most of the time, parents make choices for their children that they believe to be best for those particular children.  With that in mind, I see absolutely no need for arguing about which school setting is right or wrong.  Every parent of every child has to decide that for themselves.  For our kids and our family, home schooling has been the right choice.
One thing that I have found interesting is how many people question whether or not my children will know how to act in "the real world."  I find that to be a very odd question since we live in "the real world" right now.  They aren't in a "pretend world" at home with me.  They go to the grocery store, the bank, the doctor's office, karate lessons, the park, and anywhere else life takes us.  One child has been to a real estate closing and a homeless shelter.  We did not necessarily seek out those experiences to fit our lesson plan - life just took us there!
Today, we went on a little excursion to the local science museum.  While there, we had the opportunity to be around students from a local public school's gifted class and with students from a local Muslim school.  There were also some adults with special needs on a trip with their class, and another group of younger students with special needs, also on a field trip.  We came home in time for my older kids to change into their karate clothes and be dropped off for class with more kids, some home schooled and others public schooled.  While the older kids had their lesson, I took the younger ones to a local park.  They played with several children there who happened to be bilingual Hispanic children.  This is just an example of one very typical day.  The places that we go may change from day to day, but we always have opportunities to interact with people from varying backgrounds and circumstances.  You know - in "the real world."

Sweet Dreams!

31 for 21 Challenge!

I am planning to blog all 31 days in the month of October in honor of Down Syndrome Awareness month!  Not every post will be about Down Syndrome, but I am sure that some will.  My life has been pretty blessed by many little people who have that extra 21st chromosome!  I hope you enjoy the posts!

Fundraiser for the Rhodes Family!

http://findingourlittleone.blogspot.com/2011/09/all-ways-you-can-help.html?spref=fb
Please visit my friend's blog!  Mandy and her family are adopting 2 little ones from a place that is VERY close to my heart!  I was able to hold one of her little sweeties, and I am just so happy that these boys have a committed family.
Please consider doing a little Christmas shopping via one of their fundraisers!  You can tackle your shopping list and help the Rhodes family bring home these 2 precious boys!

*One more note

For clarity's sake, when I say things are "harder than they had to be", please know that Joel's orphanage was actually one of the best ones that he could have been in.  The people were kind, and for the last 1 1/2 years, he was in a day care program at the orphanage where they did work with him some.  That said, malnutrition and neglect (even when not intentional) are very real, and very hard to overcome after 7 years.  Even the best orphanage situation is not adequate to meet a child's real and basic needs.  I just want to be clear that we are thankful for what they DID do for him, but what they did not do for him is what is hard to overcome.

Learning New Things

The last couple of posts (before the pictures) were downers, I know.  Some parts of the journey are just hard, even harder than they had to be.  So, with the wisdom of Dori from "Finding Nemo", we just "keep swimming".
Summertime was busy around here.  We had so many appointments - cardiologist, pediatrician, ENT, therapy evaluations, feeding specialist, eye doctor, and so on.  Now we are settled in to our school routine, and we are more than excited about some cooler temps!
Joel is doing well overall.  He is up to 30 pounds now (12 pound gain), and 37 inches (5 inches of growth).  He wears 3T shirts and 2T shorts.  He moved up to a size 4 diaper earlier in the summer, and I am thinking he will be in a 5 before long.  He is down to 2 Pediasure bottles per day now.  When he first came home, he was drinking 4 per day, then down to 1, and now back up to 2.  We are working on feeding issues, trying to teach him to chew his food.  He does eat food, it just mostly has to be pureed and fed with a spoon.  He has a sweet tooth, that is for sure!
He has physical therapy once per week.  She is working with him on getting on all fours (knees and hands), with the hope that he will crawl.  He can walk some, holding on to my hands, but his ankles and legs are not strong enough to really support his weight yet, so we are hoping he will get comfortable crawling to build some muscle in his legs and rear.
Swimming and swinging are his 2 favorite things.  He frequently scoots on his bottom to the bathroom to try to get us to put him in the tub.  He fights every diaper change, because if he is undressed from the waist down, he figures he is almost ready for a bath.  He doesn't want the new diaper on because that means he isn't getting one.  Smart boy!
The other day we were at the park, and he was happy to be going down the slide.  He was smiling and laughing so loudly!  Then, he saw my other kids going down head first.  Well, the next time I put him at the top of the slide, he flipped himself around to go head first like the other kids.  He thought that was so funny, and we did, too.
I am going to try and post more regularly.  I am sure you are not holding your breath on that one.  I will continue to blog about Joel and his progress, but I think he will start to share this space with the rest of our family, too.  I am really not much of a record keeper, so I am hoping that this space will be a place for me to record those things that I want to remember about all of our lives at this time.

Cute pics...

This is my second post in an hour, so if you haven't read the previous one, you might want to do that.

On 5/28, I posted that Joel's heart condition was a large part of the reason that he was so tiny when we brought him home.  It has become very apparent that is not the case.  The reason he was so tiny was because he did not have enough food.  Plain and simple.  So very many of his issues are from serious malnutrition and neglect.  That hurts to type and it hurts worse to live.  And I am so angry about this simple truth.

And there are more children, so many more children,  living in this truth and even worse.

Eyes Opened

3:55 a.m.  Awake.  Have been for over 2 hours.  Wrestling with what I've seen, what I've lived, what I know and can never "un-know".  I wouldn't really want to un-know it, even if I could.  I feel like I am living in 2 very different worlds.  My physical body is here, in the land of food in the pantry and family snuggled together.  My mind is often there, with children who are starving, literally.  For food, for affection, for so much.
I can't pretend they aren't there.  I don't want to, really.  So many times, I have asked God to break my heart for the things that break His.  I think when I prayed that, I thought it would be a one-time sort of breaking.  That one-time thing really hasn't been my experience.  I am not really sure what to do with it now.
There is so much that I have "held back".  I share selectively, trying to stay positive, give the information, focus on moving forward.  Maybe I have held back too much.
These children are real.  They are.  My child is real.  Their needs are real.
I truly believe that one day, Jesus is coming back.  I believe that wrongs will be made right, and this world we are in is temporary.  This world they are in is temporary.  That is my hope.  Helping them live here now is our responsibility.

July update

Wow!  I have gone longer than I intended without a post!  Things are a bit crazy here, gearing up for the school year while maintaining meds and appointments, with a bit of summer fun sprinkled in.  I will have to apologize again for no pics, because I (embarrassingly) still don't know how to post them!  Yes, my husband is an all-things-computer-guru, so I see the hilarity of the situation.  Maybe I should put one of my children on that - I bet they could post them. 

Joel is OK.  He has gained 10 pounds and grown 3 inches in the last 2 months since we have been home! When we got home, he was wearing 12-18 months shirts and 9-12 months pants.  Now he is wearing 3Toddler shirts and 18 months-2Toddler pants!  We continue to be so grateful and humbled that God has let us be his parents.

The overnight hospital stay for the heart cath turned into a 5 day stay.  He is on oxygen for 12 hours per day at home and on medication 3 times a day.  Both of those are for his pulmonary hypertension.  We saw the cardiologist last week, and the device that they put in on July 1 is still in the correct spot (that is good).  His pressures in the pulmonary arteries are still pretty high, so we are just continuing the oxygen and medicine.  The doctor said that if they are going to work to bring down his pressures, it would not be a "quick fix".  We will be looking for slow progress over a long period of time.  So, I think heart-wise, we are probably in a holding pattern for a while.  We will see the cardiologist again on October 26 to reassess his progress.

Joel has an appointment tomorrow (Wednesday) morning to begin physical therapy.  I am hoping that he will begin to walk within the next year.  He holds our hands and takes several steps at a time, but he has to be highly motivated.  Motivating him is difficult - he would really love to sit and be lazy almost all of the time!

He got new glasses this month, and he is not impressed.  I think they look adorable, though!  Nights are still hard, but better than they were.  Falling asleep is not easy, but once he is asleep, he usually stays asleep for the night.  I think he sleeps much better since we started the oxygen, but he still wants to pull at all of the cords when he is falling asleep.  I usually sit in the rocking chair in his room until he is asleep or almost asleep and that helps.  Sometimes, though, it can take HOURS for him to fall asleep.

Eating-wise, he is drinking 1-2 pediasure bottles (from a baby bottle) per day.  Other than that, he is still eating mushed foods from a spoon, but has increased what foods he will eat.  Favorites are mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs and grits, pureed peaches and applesauce, yogurt, pudding, chicken casserole.  He does not like meat or vegetables, so I puree' those and sneak them into potatoes or casserole.  He can feed himself thicker mushed food from a spoon.  Also, he now will eat pretzels and broken bits of animal crackers or cookies.  He does not chew food.  He sucks on it.  This month, we have an appointment with an occupational therapist who is also a feeding specialist, so I am hoping she can help with that.  He will start Occupational Therapy regularly in November. 

Speech Therapy is on hold.  He has moderate to moderate-severe hearing loss in both ears and needs tubes.  The ENT was also planning to take out his tonsils at the same time b/c they are pretty large and we feel that he probably has sleep apnea (that would explain the better sleeping when on Oxygen).  However, the cardiologist has said that we cannot consider that for at least 3 months b/c of the anesthesia risk with these higher pulmonary pressures.  The speech therapist said there is really no need in evaluating for therapy until the tubes are placed and he can hear us.  For now, we are working on sign language.  He signed "More" last week when he wanted more food.  That was his first attempt at communication with us, and we were so excited!   I also think he nodded his head "Yes" once last week to answer a question, but I am really not sure.  He has not done it since then.

He slides around the house on his bottom, and he seems pretty comfortable with us and in our home.  He often slides over to me and climbs up into my lap.  He doesn't really show any affection yet, but he does let us hug and kiss on him all of the time and seems to like it, usually.  Joel is laughing a lot these days, but not really randomly.  We have to really attempt to make him laugh, but everyone loves to do that and there are always willing actors around here!  The kids play with him.  He doesn't really "play back", but he likes to be "played with".  The other day, Julia put him in her baby doll's playpen and he really thought that was funny.  In another week or two, I don't think he will fit there anymore!

All in all, we are seeing growth and change, and we are loving our boy!  Thank you for keeping up with us, but most of all, thank you for your prayers!

Success!

The heart catheterization went very well yesterday!  The doctor was able to close the PDA and he is optimistic about the possibility to close the ASD at some point in the future.  There is some damage to the pulmonary arteries, but he said that some of that may be reversible.  The plan was for Joel to come to the regular floor after the cath, but the doctor decided instead to send him to ICU instead and keep him sedated and on the ventilator for the night.  He just felt that this was a more cautious approach to keep his blood pressures down (by keeping him from waking up and getting excited).  There is a (very small) risk that the device used to close the PDA could come loose and move out of its' intended location.  That would be a severe complication, but the chances of that happening are very small (even less than 1 %).  Nevertheless, keeping him sedated overnight was a precaution to keep his pressures lower, and lessen the risk of that happening even more.
Up until this point, Joel has not been on any medication for his heart, but he will be from this point forward.  The medicine should keep his pulmonary pressures down, to minimize further damage while we wait to find out if repairing the ASD can happen.
We are so very thankful for all of this, and we are so blessed that God has chosen us to be Joel's parents and watch His plans for Joel's life unfold.

Friday

Friday is Joel's heart cath at UAB.  I have been really bad about posting here, because there is just so much going on.  Add to that - I am somewhat of an "inward processor", so posting doesn't really come naturally.  I do appreciate you all reading and praying for Joel.  I especially appreciate all of the prayers for sleep, and the helpful advice that you all gave through the comments and e-mails.
I cannot say that life is easy right now, but I can say that it is worth it.  Joel is growing and changing, but trust does not come easy for him.  For example, he lets me hold him for his bottles, but he won't let me hold the bottle.  He gained 5 pounds and grew 1 inch in the first month home - that is worth celebrating!  He is still wearing 12 month shorts, but they are no longer loose on him.  In shirts, he has gone from a 12-18 month to about a 2T.  He can wear the 18 months, but they show his belly too easily.
His face is much fuller, and his ribs and hips have some meat on them.  He smiles more.  We are trying to avoid crowds as much as possible - they tend to stress him out.
Wednesday, we have an appointment with the ENT to schedule surgery for tubes (as long as the cardiologist will release him for that after Friday).  I hope that with the tubes he will be able to hear us, and that will help him even more!
Friday is a big, big day.  There are risks involved, and the future is uncertain for his heart.  However, I do not believe that God has brought him this far for this heart to be unrepairable.  I am hoping and believing that we will have good news!

2 1/2 Weeks Home and Needing Sleep...

In the first 2 weeks home, Joel has gained 4 pounds, going from 18 to 22 pounds!  He is scheduled for his heart cath on July 1st.  We have an appointment with the ENT on 6/29, so hopefully he will be able to get his tubes sometime in July.  I think that hearing us clearly would help his adjustment even more.
If you have brought home a child from an orphanage, I would LOVE to hear any sleep suggestions that you have!  Please, please, please comment and encourage me here with ideas.  The lip blowing, teeth grinding, random hysterical laughing (from him, not me), hitting himself, rocking his head side to side at all hours of the night are just really exhausting (to Joel and us).  He is sleeping in our room right now.  People have mentioned putting him in another room so we can't hear him, but that really will not work.  For one thing, the only other room we could put him in is the one he will share with Joshua, and I really don't need him to keep Joshua awake.    For another, I don't want to just put him there, hoping he doesn't wake us all, and have him continue with these behaviors.  Ideally, I would love to help him learn to settle with these behaviors at a minimum.  So, I am all ears if you have a suggestion.  Last night, he finally fell asleep around 11:30, only to wake up at 3:00, and stay awake until 6:00 am, when I had to get up with everyone else.  He is still asleep now at 7:45.  We did give him melatonin last night (dr. suggested), but it obviously did not work.  I will continue giving him that, though, because sometimes it takes time for it to work.
Thanks for reading!  I will get Jeremy to put up new pics this weekend, since I am still apparently living in the dark ages and have no clue how to do that.

1 Week Home

I haven't posted this week because I cannot really get my thoughts together, much less get them in concise, printed form.  We have had medical appointments 4 of 5 days this week.  Joel has so many medical needs.  Some of these we knew about going into this adoption, some we found out about along the way, and a couple came as a bit of a shock this week.
The main issue, which far outweighs all of the other issues, is Joel's heart.  We knew that he has an ASD (Atrial Septal Defect).  This is common in children who have Down Syndrome (I think around 40-45% of children with DS are born with this).  It is an opening between the upper two chambers of the heart.  Here in the US, this is usually corrected within the first several months of life.  Joel's has never been corrected, and we were hopeful before we brought him home that this could be corrected.  However, we did not know that Joel also has a PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus).  Before birth, all babies have a blood vessel between the aorta (main artery to the body) and the pulmonary artery (main artery to the lungs).  Shortly after birth, this vessel closes off.  Joel's never did.  So, for the past 7 years, his heart has been working hard to pump all of this blood through these extra 2 openings, and into the pulmonary artery.  Because of this, his pulmonary arteries have suffered damage, and he now has Pulmonary Hypertension.  This is also a large part of the reason that he is so tiny (18 lbs. at 7 years old).
At this time, we do not know what, if anything, can be done surgically to close these openings.  Joel will have a heart catheterization in the coming weeks to survey the extent of the damage to his arteries, and to assess whether or not his body can tolerate any corrections to his heart.  Please pray for Joel as he faces this procedure, for his health, and for his emotional well-being.  Please pray for wisdom for the surgeons and for Jeremy and I as we make decisions regarding his medical care. 
Thank you!
Joy

Welcome to the USA!

in charlotte waiting for flight to birmingham.

In Munich and getting closer

We are currently in the Munich Airport.  I know friends and family, our first flight was not cancelled, delayed, or lost (yes, we had a flight lost once), but it was actually EARLY getting to Munich!  We have not been able to take a leisurely stroll through an airport through this whole process, until now.

Joel did great for his first flight.   Please keep praying that he will enjoy the remaining flights so that everyone else can enjoy the remaining flights.

--Jeremy

Load 'em up and move 'em out...

We are packing right now getting ready to head out in the morning.  Well, actually, Joy is doing most of the packing.  Joel is asleep and resting for his first flight.  I am, well, I am typing this post.

We had an interesting day yesterday (as were the days before, just ask, and we will tell you about them).  We went to the U.S. Embassy to get Joel's visa.  If your wife says to take pictures of the U.S. Embassy, do not do it.  You can go to jail.  I did not get to visit a jail on this visit.  DiDi, our attorney's cousin who was taking us to the embassy, yelled, "No, they will arrest you" before I could get the camera ready.

By the way, if you declare something as a drink at the security gate, they will make you drink some of it.  Not the owner of the cup (Joel), but the person carrying the backpack that has the sippy cup in it (me).  By the way, if you are going to have to experience that situation, please make sure that you have not just fed the owner of the cup (Joel) peanut butter crackers.  He will not drink from it with the lid on, so we remove the lid to give him a sip.  Right now, he kind of eats like cookie monster, and yes, the majority of one of his crackers did end up inside of the sippy cup.  Yes, he had already chewed on it for a minute.  Anyways, good ol' dad got to take a big ol' sip of the peanut butter cracker water with wonderful mom watching on the other side of security.  I do not like to drink after anyone, but a man has to do what a man has to do.  It really gave Joy a good laugh, after she stopped gagging. There is a little more to this story that I will share with whomever asks.

Today was also interesting.  After we realized that a bird pooped on Joy (twice actually), we were walking back from the other side of the city center.  Every day we would change our path a little to venture to different areas.  We did pass this certain area with a park and three churches every day.  Joy had mentioned going into one of them, but we did not.  Today, as we were coming back past one of them (later to find out it was a mosque), there were some guys playing some type of music, that sounded like a Bulgarian opera, on loudspeakers mounted to a car.  We walked to the other side of the mosque, and there was a large group of people chanting with shirts and signs that read ATAKA.  We did not know about most of the following until we got back to the hotel and looked it up on the internet.  ATAKA means Attack in Bulgarian.  This is an ultra-conservative, ultra-nationalist party in Bulgaria.  They want only Bulgarians that are Eastern Orthodox to be here.  From what I have read, they don't like American involvement in their country, and they don't like Muslims.  Today, the mosque was having Friday prayers, and the ATAKA party was not happy with the Muslim prayer that is chanted over loudspeakers in the city center.  Police with riot gear were surrounding the area.  Joy and I walked up right into the middle of this.  She being the uber-smart, fleet footed mom that she is, quickly took Joel further down the sidewalk away from all of it.  Me, I hung around to see what was going on for a little while.  After getting a few pictures and some video, I met Joy a few blocks down.  Just after I left, the ATAKA attacked (how fitting with the name) the Muslims that were there praying.  I have told Joy throughout our whole marriage that it will always be an adventure.  Sometimes, I am the cause of the adventure, and sometimes, I just stumble upon it.

ETA: Here is a link to a short article about the above: http://www.novinite.com/view_news.php?id=128451.
Beware it does have a picture with some blood.  Nothing too graphic.  Just a person holding their head with blood running down their hand.

And, now that I am finished typing this, I notice that Joy has finished packing.  Time to get in bed.  We have to leave in 5.5 hours to go catch a flight.

Since you have read this far, please pray for our safe travel and an enjoyable flight for and with Joel.

--Jeremy

Day 3 update

We are at the end of Day #3 with Joel.  Monday was pretty full, by the time we picked him up, returned to Sofia, and went to the passport office.  Yesterday and today have been really open, with nothing on the agenda. We have walked around the city (8 miles today alone), eaten in restaurants, and watched people.  There are so many beautiful buildings here.  It is a really old city, but with modern stores and restaurants.  The traffic is horrible, and we have learned to cross streets strategically and quickly.  Yesterday, I thought I was standing on a sidewalk, only to have a car coming directly at me and realize that I was actually in a street.  Truth be told, it wouldn't have mattered if I had been standing on a sidewalk, because cars go on those also.

I really love the city - I think that it is pretty fascinating with all of the history here and so many people.  I would love to hear stories from them, but I have absolutely no idea what they are saying.  Jeremy is a little over-traveled at this point.  He said he feels like he is constantly getting off a plane in Las Vegas - lights and noise everywhere...  Big cities are not really his comfort zone.  :)

We have a passport for Joel now, so tomorrow morning we will have his medical appointment.  Tomorrow afternoon, we will have the interview for his visa at the embassy.  We should get his visa on Friday, and come home Saturday!

Joel is doing well.  He is still spending a good bit of time "zoning", but he does engage with us some.  He has the funniest little laugh that is quite contagious.  He does not like to drink water at all.  He pretty much eats soft, mushy foods from a spoon.  They told us that he can eat foods that are cut into tiny pieces, but we haven't really had much luck with that.  I got up during the night to check on him, and he was sound asleep, sitting straight up.  I picked him up and tucked him in with me, where he fell right back to sleep.  It is pretty funny that a little boy who has slept in a port-a-crib for his entire life can take up 2/3 of a king sized bed, but he managed to do just that.  He likes to ride in the stroller, and he also likes to sit in the car seat, strapped in.  I honestly did not think that he would like that at all, but I think he feels secure there because it is just his size. I usually sit in front of him in it and talk to him or help him play with a toy.  All in all, we are getting to know each other, and I think it is going well.

Gotcha Day!

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten -- the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm -- my great army that I sent among you.  You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed."  Joel 2:25-26

I wish I was a more eloquent person, because there is no way that my words can do this day justice.  God has been so FAITHFUL to keep his promises to us, to bring us to this place, with this child - I truly, absolutely stand in awe!  In April 2009, we requested to be matched with a child from www.reecesrainbow.org to pray for daily.  Little did we know -- the baby peaking out of the picture that was mailed to us would in fact become our son!  God's provision and providence throughout this entire process has left us amazed.  There have been times of smooth sailing, and times of rough storms, but I can say that I know, know, know what it feels like to be led.  And I am so humbled that God would allow us to follow Him, step by step.

Today, May 16, was Gotcha Day!  We drove from Sofia to Kazanlak on Sunday afternoon, where we stayed the night.  This morning, we left for the orphanage bright and early.

It was so nice to see the staff again, hug necks, smile, wish we could understand each other's languages...

We went into the director's office to talk for a few minutes.  She has been the director of this particular orphanage for many years, even longer than Joel has lived there.  He came to this orphanage when he was around 8 months old, so she has been responsible for him for the better part of 7 years.  We gave her the gifts that we had brought, both from ourselves and from friends.  She took the clothes that we brought for him to wear to one of his caregivers so they could dress him.  The director also gave us a few pictures of Joel from his earlier years.

Marty (our driver, who is also our facilitator's brother) brought Joel into the office to us.  I don't really think that he has changed much since our last visit, although I know that he has learned some new things.  He did not seem to really recognize us (I expected that he probably would not), but he is comfortable with us.

After we hugged him, kissed him, and just all around loved on him, we went to the day care center at the orphanage to tell his caregivers and friends "Good-bye."  The teachers were emotional, in a good way, but still teary.  They were so happy to see him leaving for his new life.  We asked questions about his eating and sleeping schedule.  One of the teachers (a very kind lady who we enjoyed meeting on our first trip) brought him some flowers that grow in Bulgaria.  As best I can remember, I think they are a symbol of health.

We took more pictures, then it was time to leave.  The director (Dr. P.) brought out a bowl of water, which she poured out the door just before we walked out of the building.  She said this is a Bulgarian custom that you walk over the water, and your life runs smoothly like a river from this point forward.

As we walked out, his teachers and some friends followed us out, waving at him and telling him "Good-bye!"   This part made me sad for the children left behind, who want to be the ones leaving with Mamas and Daddies.  We looked up on the roof of the orphanage, where there is a playground.  Children from another group were playing there, and some had come to the fence to watch what was happening.  This is the point where I got teary, thinking of how these children live, and hoping that they could all have Moms and Dads.

Joel was a good traveler, although I have to admit that part of this is because he has spent a good part of the day in his own little world.  I think this is normal for him, but I also think that today it served as a coping mechanism.  He will interact with us for a few minutes at a time, but he slips back into his self, grinding his teeth, shaking his head, making motorboat noises with his lips.  He does allow us to hold him, even a good portion of the time when he is in his own little world.  When we were visiting in December, he interacted much more as the week progressed, so I am sure that this will improve.  Today was such an overwhelming day for him, I am sure.

I don't want to sound like he was sad or distant even, because we did get quite a few smiles and even some laughs.  They were just mixed in with some "zoning" time, for lack of a better word.

He is asleep now, in a play-pen.  I tried to lay down with him in our bed earlier, but he was not able to settle down like that at all.  It was hard to listen to him in the play-pen, blowing his lips and rocking himself back and forth.  I just wanted to rock him, because I am his mother and mothers rock their children.  Children shouldn't have to rock themselves.  But, this is what he is used to after 7 years, and it wasn't something that he could handle not doing on the first day.  I tried to rock him, walk him, hold him.  He let me, but there was no way he could actually go to sleep that way.

I am looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings.  And I am so grateful to have had the blessing of today.

We are here!

I am too tired to write a coherent post.  When we arrived at the airport Friday morning, we were told that our first flight (to Chicago) had been cancelled.  After about an hour of talking to the gate agent and our travel agent (then those two agents talking to each other), we had a new plan to fly to Houston, then Chicago, then Dusseldorf, then German.
1st leg to Houston, fine.
Houston to Chicago, delayed to past the time for our flight to Dusseldorf to take off.
Run to another flight, hoping to get on it to Chicago as stand-by passengers.  No can do.
Back to first gate to Chicago.
Gate is moved.  Go to new gate.
Flight delayed.
Board plane.
Sit on tarmac b/c of new delay.
Get off plane.
Lay on nasty floor of Houston airport b/c I have been gone from home for 10+ hours, have made negative progress, and am exhausted.
Back on plane.
Arrive in Chicago.
Book new flight to Munich (didn't make Dusseldorf).
Land in Munich 30 minutes before flight to Sofia takes off.
Run.
Get to gate in plenty of time because flight to Sofia is delayed.
We are here.  We are glad.  We are tired.
Will update on Monday.

Video from December

This is my favorite video from our first trip...

Honestly...

I know we are so, so close.

But today he just seems so very far away.

And I just want him home. Now. With us.

It has been 2 years since I first saw his picture, 15 months since we began this adoption process, and 148 days since I kissed him good-bye at the orphanage and placed him in the arms of a caregiver.

This 5 month time period between trips is the hardest part.

Soon, very soon, a caregiver will hand him back to me!

Changes...

Let me just say at the get-go...I am less than, well, organized. And I am a procrastinator.

And I am NESTING!

So, even though we have known for the last 15 months that we would be bringing home Joel, I just decided YESTERDAY to rearrange all of the rooms, moving everyone around. The girls are moving to the loft (unconventional, I know, but we are out of bedrooms and they are excited about it!), the big boys are moving to what used to be the girls' room, and the "babies" (Joshua and Joel) are moving into what used to be the big boys' room. I had planned for all 4 boys to share a room, but I really think this arrangement will work out better. My house is upside down now, but I am hoping we will finish up this weekend.

We have had a baby crib in our room for almost all of the last 12 years. We usually keep babies in our room for the first couple of years, then move them in with an older sibling. By the time each child (so far) has been ready to move, there has usually been another baby in our room. Not this time, though. Joshua is moving out of our room, and there is not a little one moving in. I am really not sure whether to put a happy or a sad face after that statement, but I am glad that he is excited about sharing a room with Joel! I am hoping that I can keep it positive and not have an ugly cry when we carry the crib out. I am less-than-spectacular when it comes to change. I have worn the same green jacket since I was in 8th grade. Seriously. :)

In other news, I bought a car seat for Joel. Every seat in our Suburban will be full when he comes home, and 5 of our 6 children will still be in some type of car seat. Josie is still too small (yes, even at 9 1/2 years old) for a regular seat belt, so I have been searching for options for a booster seat that we can use in the back with 3 across. I think I found something that will work well, but it took some time and research to find it. I remember when Jonathan was born, I was so determined to keep my little Honda station wagon (remember - I don't like change). I measured and remeasured, and shoved and buckled, and googled, trying to find a way to fit 3 carseats across that backseat. It was more narrow than a standard seat, and we eventually surrendured and bought a Suburban. We find ourselves in that same situation now, with our backseat being more narrow than the middle seat, but now there is a vest on the market that is a "wearable" booster seat. I am pretty sure it would probably be considered much less-than-cool in some circles. It's a good thing she doesn't seem to notice or care, I guess.

Thank you all for keeping up with our journey. We are in the last weeks and are just so happy to be marking off the days until we hold our little boy again!

Need shoes...will travel!

We are getting ready for a special little trip in the not-too-distant future! On our last trip, I handled things in my classic Joy style. Which basically means that I completely procrastinated and packed everything at the last minute with sick kids all around me. Seriously, I was holding a bucket under the chin of one child right up until the day before we left, and I was giving breathing treatments to 3 children every 4 hours until I handed them over to my sister (sorry about that, sis!). In the midst of that chaos, I had clothes, shoes, papers, schoolbooks, etc. all around us. I am hoping to do better this time!

I have been asked several times over the last few weeks if there is anything that we need for our trip, or anything that we could take with us for the children in the orphanage. Honestly, we (Jeremy and I) don't need anything because so many loving, generous people have given so much that we now have all of the funds that we anticipate needing for travel. I have purchased toys for the orphanage and gifts for the caregivers. There is, however, one more thing that I would LOVE to take with me -- Shoes.

I noticed before we traveled on our first trip that the shoes our little man wore in each picture were pretty worn. When we were visiting, he wore sweet little bedroom slippers every day that had a lamb on the toes. He loved looking at his shoes! So, an idea was born. I will be collecting new shoes for the orphanage. I would love for them to be the little leather type that Target sells in the baby department (Ministar is the Target brand, Robeez is the more expensive brand that Stride Rite sells). I chose these particular shoes for a few reasons:

1. They are sized 0-6 months, 6-12 months, 12-18 months, 18-24 months. They fit a wider range foot than shoes that are specifically sized.

2. They are easier to pack than harder-soled shoes, and they weigh less. We are limited in the amount of luggage that we can take, but I think I can fit plenty of this type in our suitcase all around our things.

3. Joel lives in an orphanage for children with special needs. He is one of the older children there, at age 7. Most children there are under 5, and many of them have significant medical needs. These are smaller children, and so many of them are not mobile. These particular shoes have cute pictures on them, so that would give the children something interesting to look at when laying in their cribs or playing on the floor.

4. They are fairly inexpensive. You can buy the ministar brand at Target for $12.99/pair. The ones at Stride Rite are about $40/pair. I have used both brands through the years, and the Target ones are absolutely fine. The only benefit I have noticed with the Robees brand is that they come in larger sizes (probably to fit up to about a 4T). If you particularly want to donate Robeez ones, that will be fine, but the Target ones will definitely be useful.

Here is a link to Target's website: http://www.target.com/s?keywords=miniwear+shoes&searchNodeID=1038576|1287991011&ref=sr_bx_1_1&x=0&y=0

If you would like to donate a pair (or a few) to the orphanage, please let me know and we can arrange a way for me to get them from you! I need all shoes by Sunday, May 8.

Thank you so much!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

I am so thankful to God, who created this precious child, and who is bringing him to our family!

Court was this morning, and now Joel Nicholas Chance is officially our son!!!!!!!!!

There is a 7 day waiting period for the decree to become final, and then another 1-2 months until we can pick him up.

We are so humbled and thankful to be gifted the privilege of walking this road to become and to be his parents!

Thank you all for praying for us, encouraging us, for giving your time, your money, and your talents to make this adoption happen!

Court Tomorrow

If I have talked to you about court, please know that I had my time wrong. Court will be at 3 am (our time), which is 10 am in his country. Please be in prayer for the judge and for our attorney.

In only 7 hours from the writing of this post, he could be officially our son!

Heartbreaking

Oh, I don't even have words adequate enough for this.

Another Reece's Rainbow family had court today, and the judge said, "No."

After everything, this simple word, "No", was spoken. This precious child is left in the orphanage, when a family had done EVERYTHING they could to bring him home.

This is the harsh reality - nothing is guaranteed.

Please pray for the Davis family. Please pray for precious little Kirill, whose family wanted him so desperately, but were told they could not bring him home.

Please pray for the other families who are scheduled to have court with this same judge in the coming weeks.

Please pray for these children who need families so very much.

I do want to mention that they were in a different country in Eastern Europe than we are adopting from. A different Davis family has court tomorrow in our child's country. Please pray for the judge to rule for this child to have a family tomorrow! We have court next week, and we would greatly appreciate your fervent prayers on behalf of our sweet little boy and our family!

Fourteen...

more days until we have COURT!!!

March 25, 2 weeks from today. Please pray for the judge to see our file with favor. We should know next week if anything more is requested of us.

No date, yet

No news, yet, on court. Our facilitator in country is really good about e-mailing me when she gets new information. So, "no news" really does mean "no news."

We continue to pray for God's peace in the journey, for our son's health while he waits, and for court - SOON!

Keep praying.

No news yet.

Thanks.

PRAY PLEASE!!

I found out that our dossier was submitted to the court last Wednesday. They were closed Thursday and Friday. We should be assigned a judge and a court date VERY soon! This is very good news!

Please PRAY, especially over the next 24-48 hours, that we would be assigned a judge who is adoption friendly.

All of our "required" paperwork is there, everything is in order, our little boy is absolutely cleared to be adopted. Even with all of that in place, judges can (and sometimes do) ask for "extra" paperwork, sometimes from the adoptive families, sometimes about the birth families, sometimes extra paperwork from social-services type institutions. This extra paperwork makes the process even more lengthy, and our little boy doesn't need to wait any longer to come home. Please pray for judge assigned to see the urgency of his situation and act quickly to grant us his adoption!

They are 8 hours ahead of us, so the next 24 hours really could be crucial. We won't actually be having court then, but the judge could very well be assigned to our case.

I will update more when I hear news.

Thank you so much!

Made My Day!!

There is a sweet, sweet lady who works at Nick's orphanage who sent me an e-mail to let me know that they celebrated his birthday today with a cake and candle. She sent me a few pictures, showing him with his cake and some balloons. She also sent a little video of him playing with his favorite toy and another of him while the teachers and other children sang, "Happy Birthday."

I am just so very thankful - what a gift!

Happy Birthday to our Boy!!

Today is Nick's birthday. He is turning 7 years old today. This is his 7th birthday in the orphanage. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for the people who take care of him each day. I also cannot tell you enough that I am so glad that this should be his LAST birthday in the orphanage!!! 1 year ago today, our commitment papers arrived in his country. Now, we are waiting for 1 more signature on our file, then we can be submitted for a court date! We are getting so very close!

Please pray for Nick today, on his birthday. Please pray for all of the orphans of the world today, for their needs to be met. Please be willing to ACT on their behalf in obedience to whatever God would have you do.

Precious boy...

Article 5 Letter Issued

Our attorney has the Article 5 letter! It must be translated/authenticated before being submitted to the MOJ. That will take about 4 business days.
Please pray in advance that we will be assigned an adoption-friendly judge!
Thanks!

Interview - done!

Our attorney had the interview at the embassy for the provisional filing of Nick's visa today. The interview went well, and they have a 5 day window to issue the article 5 letter. This is like speaking a foreign language to most of you, but it means progress! I love progress. We have 3 more steps until our attorney can submit for a court date.

1. Article 5 letter.
2. Get a signature on our file from the MOJ (Minister of Justice).
3. Get another signature from someone else at the MOJ office.

It has been 59 days since we last held our little boy!

Happy Day!

OK, first the "bad" news. The file made it, but our attorney was still not able to get an appointment this week. So, we will wait 2 more weeks for the next step. I hate for 2 weeks to go by with no progress in the official adoption paperwork, but I was reminded yesterday that God does not waste time. He will still use this time of "waiting" in our lives to prepare us even more for things to come. This time is not wasted at all! I praise Him for that encouragement!
Now, the GOOD news! I received new photos of our boy, and he is so beautiful! He looks great and he even looks like he has filled out since we were there in December. He is such a tiny little guy, but his cheeks look fuller and his color looks good. He was happy and smiling, and the psychologist at his orphanage said that he is doing well, is healthy, is energetic, and they are working with him often to practice walking!
Those pictures were a great way to begin my day!

Letter in Hand

Our approval notice came in the mail today. The National Visa Center has our file. They just need to do whatever it is that they do with it, and send it on to the embassy overseas. The file really needs to arrive there within the next 24 hours for our attorney to be able to do the provisional filing of the visa this week. Otherwise, I don't think it will be done for 2 weeks b/c our attorney has another family to travel with next week. If the provisional filing is done this week, then I think we may still have a chance at court for his birthday. If it isn't done for 2 more weeks, then I just don't see how court could possibly happen before his birthday.
I trust that the timing will be perfect, either way, but I feel like a lady who is about 38 weeks pregnant, and just really ready for the baby to show up! A "paper pregnancy" is no less emotional than a physical one, for sure!

No news, really...

We are still waiting. Our I-800 was approved, but we haven't received the letter yet. Not that it matters, because we don't have to do anything with the letter. The important thing is that the National Visa Center gets the approval and processes our "file", then sends it on to the embassy in Bulgaria. The National Visa Center does have our approval (I confirmed this on the phone on Friday), but they don't have a "required time frame" to act on that and send the needed documents to Bulgaria. I hope they send it on early this week. I am missing our little boy terribly!

APPROVAL!!

I had a phone message from our immigration officer stating that we have received APPROVAL!!!
I know that some of you have no idea what that really means - just know that it is a big step on the road to court. The next step is to have an Article 5 letter issued by the embassy in Bulgaria.
Today is January 14. Last year, our commitment paperwork arrived in Bulgaria on our son's 6th birthday. His 7th birthday is on February 22. Please pray with us that we will be able to have court by his 7th birthday! We will not be able to travel to pick him up until about 1 month after court, but I really would love for him to be officially OUR SON by his 7th birthday!! 7 years is a long time to wait for a family! It would just mean so much to us, to celebrate his birthday as our son (in every sense of that word) this year! Now, this would truly take a mighty work of God for court to happen that quickly. However, I have personally seen God act in MIGHTY ways, providing for every little penny we have needed for this adoption and for even making us aware that this precious little non-verbal child even needed a family, when Nick could not even speak for himself! I KNOW that God is able to do this, and I would love if you would all pray for this with us!
Thank you for following our journey! I will have Jeremy show me how to post more pictures soon!

A *Little* Progress

The mailman was VERY happy to deliver our mail today!!!
I was VERY happy to take it from him!!!
I was sure that it was our I-800 approval.
I am glad that I checked the envelope before I hugged him (that could have been awkward)!
It was only a receipt from USCIS, stating that they received our I-800 application. I mailed it on 12/17, and they signed for it on 12/20, so I already knew they had received it. At least this confirms that it is in their system, so we may have approval shortly.
Meanwhile, I keep watching the videos of our sweet little boy! I received word from the orphanage that he is doing well and has not been ill this winter. Most people don't get updates between trips, so I was thrilled with that news!
I hope I have more to update soon!

Waiting

For anyone who is interested in the process, we are waiting for our I-800 to be approved by USCIS (US immigration). After that approval, there are more steps, but I won't cover those until we get through this one.
I spent the first week home from Bulgaria finishing up paperwork and filing the I-800. Approval could come sooner (or later). I am praying for really, really soon.

I miss Nick very, very much. I understand the theory behind 2 trips and knowing the child that you are committing to. However, 2 trips is very hard emotionally. I am hoping these days of waiting will be few.

Joy