I haven't posted this week because I cannot really get my thoughts together, much less get them in concise, printed form. We have had medical appointments 4 of 5 days this week. Joel has so many medical needs. Some of these we knew about going into this adoption, some we found out about along the way, and a couple came as a bit of a shock this week.
The main issue, which far outweighs all of the other issues, is Joel's heart. We knew that he has an ASD (Atrial Septal Defect). This is common in children who have Down Syndrome (I think around 40-45% of children with DS are born with this). It is an opening between the upper two chambers of the heart. Here in the US, this is usually corrected within the first several months of life. Joel's has never been corrected, and we were hopeful before we brought him home that this could be corrected. However, we did not know that Joel also has a PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus). Before birth, all babies have a blood vessel between the aorta (main artery to the body) and the pulmonary artery (main artery to the lungs). Shortly after birth, this vessel closes off. Joel's never did. So, for the past 7 years, his heart has been working hard to pump all of this blood through these extra 2 openings, and into the pulmonary artery. Because of this, his pulmonary arteries have suffered damage, and he now has Pulmonary Hypertension. This is also a large part of the reason that he is so tiny (18 lbs. at 7 years old).
At this time, we do not know what, if anything, can be done surgically to close these openings. Joel will have a heart catheterization in the coming weeks to survey the extent of the damage to his arteries, and to assess whether or not his body can tolerate any corrections to his heart. Please pray for Joel as he faces this procedure, for his health, and for his emotional well-being. Please pray for wisdom for the surgeons and for Jeremy and I as we make decisions regarding his medical care.
Thank you!
Joy
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
In Munich and getting closer
We are currently in the Munich Airport. I know friends and family, our first flight was not cancelled, delayed, or lost (yes, we had a flight lost once), but it was actually EARLY getting to Munich! We have not been able to take a leisurely stroll through an airport through this whole process, until now.
Joel did great for his first flight. Please keep praying that he will enjoy the remaining flights so that everyone else can enjoy the remaining flights.
--Jeremy
Joel did great for his first flight. Please keep praying that he will enjoy the remaining flights so that everyone else can enjoy the remaining flights.
--Jeremy
Friday, May 20, 2011
Load 'em up and move 'em out...
We are packing right now getting ready to head out in the morning. Well, actually, Joy is doing most of the packing. Joel is asleep and resting for his first flight. I am, well, I am typing this post.
We had an interesting day yesterday (as were the days before, just ask, and we will tell you about them). We went to the U.S. Embassy to get Joel's visa. If your wife says to take pictures of the U.S. Embassy, do not do it. You can go to jail. I did not get to visit a jail on this visit. DiDi, our attorney's cousin who was taking us to the embassy, yelled, "No, they will arrest you" before I could get the camera ready.
By the way, if you declare something as a drink at the security gate, they will make you drink some of it. Not the owner of the cup (Joel), but the person carrying the backpack that has the sippy cup in it (me). By the way, if you are going to have to experience that situation, please make sure that you have not just fed the owner of the cup (Joel) peanut butter crackers. He will not drink from it with the lid on, so we remove the lid to give him a sip. Right now, he kind of eats like cookie monster, and yes, the majority of one of his crackers did end up inside of the sippy cup. Yes, he had already chewed on it for a minute. Anyways, good ol' dad got to take a big ol' sip of the peanut butter cracker water with wonderful mom watching on the other side of security. I do not like to drink after anyone, but a man has to do what a man has to do. It really gave Joy a good laugh, after she stopped gagging. There is a little more to this story that I will share with whomever asks.
Today was also interesting. After we realized that a bird pooped on Joy (twice actually), we were walking back from the other side of the city center. Every day we would change our path a little to venture to different areas. We did pass this certain area with a park and three churches every day. Joy had mentioned going into one of them, but we did not. Today, as we were coming back past one of them (later to find out it was a mosque), there were some guys playing some type of music, that sounded like a Bulgarian opera, on loudspeakers mounted to a car. We walked to the other side of the mosque, and there was a large group of people chanting with shirts and signs that read ATAKA. We did not know about most of the following until we got back to the hotel and looked it up on the internet. ATAKA means Attack in Bulgarian. This is an ultra-conservative, ultra-nationalist party in Bulgaria. They want only Bulgarians that are Eastern Orthodox to be here. From what I have read, they don't like American involvement in their country, and they don't like Muslims. Today, the mosque was having Friday prayers, and the ATAKA party was not happy with the Muslim prayer that is chanted over loudspeakers in the city center. Police with riot gear were surrounding the area. Joy and I walked up right into the middle of this. She being the uber-smart, fleet footed mom that she is, quickly took Joel further down the sidewalk away from all of it. Me, I hung around to see what was going on for a little while. After getting a few pictures and some video, I met Joy a few blocks down. Just after I left, the ATAKA attacked (how fitting with the name) the Muslims that were there praying. I have told Joy throughout our whole marriage that it will always be an adventure. Sometimes, I am the cause of the adventure, and sometimes, I just stumble upon it.
ETA: Here is a link to a short article about the above: http://www.novinite.com/view_news.php?id=128451.
Beware it does have a picture with some blood. Nothing too graphic. Just a person holding their head with blood running down their hand.
And, now that I am finished typing this, I notice that Joy has finished packing. Time to get in bed. We have to leave in 5.5 hours to go catch a flight.
Since you have read this far, please pray for our safe travel and an enjoyable flight for and with Joel.
--Jeremy
We had an interesting day yesterday (as were the days before, just ask, and we will tell you about them). We went to the U.S. Embassy to get Joel's visa. If your wife says to take pictures of the U.S. Embassy, do not do it. You can go to jail. I did not get to visit a jail on this visit. DiDi, our attorney's cousin who was taking us to the embassy, yelled, "No, they will arrest you" before I could get the camera ready.
By the way, if you declare something as a drink at the security gate, they will make you drink some of it. Not the owner of the cup (Joel), but the person carrying the backpack that has the sippy cup in it (me). By the way, if you are going to have to experience that situation, please make sure that you have not just fed the owner of the cup (Joel) peanut butter crackers. He will not drink from it with the lid on, so we remove the lid to give him a sip. Right now, he kind of eats like cookie monster, and yes, the majority of one of his crackers did end up inside of the sippy cup. Yes, he had already chewed on it for a minute. Anyways, good ol' dad got to take a big ol' sip of the peanut butter cracker water with wonderful mom watching on the other side of security. I do not like to drink after anyone, but a man has to do what a man has to do. It really gave Joy a good laugh, after she stopped gagging. There is a little more to this story that I will share with whomever asks.
Today was also interesting. After we realized that a bird pooped on Joy (twice actually), we were walking back from the other side of the city center. Every day we would change our path a little to venture to different areas. We did pass this certain area with a park and three churches every day. Joy had mentioned going into one of them, but we did not. Today, as we were coming back past one of them (later to find out it was a mosque), there were some guys playing some type of music, that sounded like a Bulgarian opera, on loudspeakers mounted to a car. We walked to the other side of the mosque, and there was a large group of people chanting with shirts and signs that read ATAKA. We did not know about most of the following until we got back to the hotel and looked it up on the internet. ATAKA means Attack in Bulgarian. This is an ultra-conservative, ultra-nationalist party in Bulgaria. They want only Bulgarians that are Eastern Orthodox to be here. From what I have read, they don't like American involvement in their country, and they don't like Muslims. Today, the mosque was having Friday prayers, and the ATAKA party was not happy with the Muslim prayer that is chanted over loudspeakers in the city center. Police with riot gear were surrounding the area. Joy and I walked up right into the middle of this. She being the uber-smart, fleet footed mom that she is, quickly took Joel further down the sidewalk away from all of it. Me, I hung around to see what was going on for a little while. After getting a few pictures and some video, I met Joy a few blocks down. Just after I left, the ATAKA attacked (how fitting with the name) the Muslims that were there praying. I have told Joy throughout our whole marriage that it will always be an adventure. Sometimes, I am the cause of the adventure, and sometimes, I just stumble upon it.
ETA: Here is a link to a short article about the above: http://www.novinite.com/view_news.php?id=128451.
Beware it does have a picture with some blood. Nothing too graphic. Just a person holding their head with blood running down their hand.
And, now that I am finished typing this, I notice that Joy has finished packing. Time to get in bed. We have to leave in 5.5 hours to go catch a flight.
Since you have read this far, please pray for our safe travel and an enjoyable flight for and with Joel.
--Jeremy
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Day 3 update
We are at the end of Day #3 with Joel. Monday was pretty full, by the time we picked him up, returned to Sofia, and went to the passport office. Yesterday and today have been really open, with nothing on the agenda. We have walked around the city (8 miles today alone), eaten in restaurants, and watched people. There are so many beautiful buildings here. It is a really old city, but with modern stores and restaurants. The traffic is horrible, and we have learned to cross streets strategically and quickly. Yesterday, I thought I was standing on a sidewalk, only to have a car coming directly at me and realize that I was actually in a street. Truth be told, it wouldn't have mattered if I had been standing on a sidewalk, because cars go on those also.
I really love the city - I think that it is pretty fascinating with all of the history here and so many people. I would love to hear stories from them, but I have absolutely no idea what they are saying. Jeremy is a little over-traveled at this point. He said he feels like he is constantly getting off a plane in Las Vegas - lights and noise everywhere... Big cities are not really his comfort zone. :)
We have a passport for Joel now, so tomorrow morning we will have his medical appointment. Tomorrow afternoon, we will have the interview for his visa at the embassy. We should get his visa on Friday, and come home Saturday!
Joel is doing well. He is still spending a good bit of time "zoning", but he does engage with us some. He has the funniest little laugh that is quite contagious. He does not like to drink water at all. He pretty much eats soft, mushy foods from a spoon. They told us that he can eat foods that are cut into tiny pieces, but we haven't really had much luck with that. I got up during the night to check on him, and he was sound asleep, sitting straight up. I picked him up and tucked him in with me, where he fell right back to sleep. It is pretty funny that a little boy who has slept in a port-a-crib for his entire life can take up 2/3 of a king sized bed, but he managed to do just that. He likes to ride in the stroller, and he also likes to sit in the car seat, strapped in. I honestly did not think that he would like that at all, but I think he feels secure there because it is just his size. I usually sit in front of him in it and talk to him or help him play with a toy. All in all, we are getting to know each other, and I think it is going well.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Gotcha Day!
"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten -- the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm -- my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed." Joel 2:25-26
I wish I was a more eloquent person, because there is no way that my words can do this day justice. God has been so FAITHFUL to keep his promises to us, to bring us to this place, with this child - I truly, absolutely stand in awe! In April 2009, we requested to be matched with a child from www.reecesrainbow.org to pray for daily. Little did we know -- the baby peaking out of the picture that was mailed to us would in fact become our son! God's provision and providence throughout this entire process has left us amazed. There have been times of smooth sailing, and times of rough storms, but I can say that I know, know, know what it feels like to be led. And I am so humbled that God would allow us to follow Him, step by step.
Today, May 16, was Gotcha Day! We drove from Sofia to Kazanlak on Sunday afternoon, where we stayed the night. This morning, we left for the orphanage bright and early.
Marty (our driver, who is also our facilitator's brother) brought Joel into the office to us. I don't really think that he has changed much since our last visit, although I know that he has learned some new things. He did not seem to really recognize us (I expected that he probably would not), but he is comfortable with us.
After we hugged him, kissed him, and just all around loved on him, we went to the day care center at the orphanage to tell his caregivers and friends "Good-bye." The teachers were emotional, in a good way, but still teary. They were so happy to see him leaving for his new life. We asked questions about his eating and sleeping schedule. One of the teachers (a very kind lady who we enjoyed meeting on our first trip) brought him some flowers that grow in Bulgaria. As best I can remember, I think they are a symbol of health.
We took more pictures, then it was time to leave. The director (Dr. P.) brought out a bowl of water, which she poured out the door just before we walked out of the building. She said this is a Bulgarian custom that you walk over the water, and your life runs smoothly like a river from this point forward.
As we walked out, his teachers and some friends followed us out, waving at him and telling him "Good-bye!" This part made me sad for the children left behind, who want to be the ones leaving with Mamas and Daddies. We looked up on the roof of the orphanage, where there is a playground. Children from another group were playing there, and some had come to the fence to watch what was happening. This is the point where I got teary, thinking of how these children live, and hoping that they could all have Moms and Dads.
Joel was a good traveler, although I have to admit that part of this is because he has spent a good part of the day in his own little world. I think this is normal for him, but I also think that today it served as a coping mechanism. He will interact with us for a few minutes at a time, but he slips back into his self, grinding his teeth, shaking his head, making motorboat noises with his lips. He does allow us to hold him, even a good portion of the time when he is in his own little world. When we were visiting in December, he interacted much more as the week progressed, so I am sure that this will improve. Today was such an overwhelming day for him, I am sure.
I don't want to sound like he was sad or distant even, because we did get quite a few smiles and even some laughs. They were just mixed in with some "zoning" time, for lack of a better word.
He is asleep now, in a play-pen. I tried to lay down with him in our bed earlier, but he was not able to settle down like that at all. It was hard to listen to him in the play-pen, blowing his lips and rocking himself back and forth. I just wanted to rock him, because I am his mother and mothers rock their children. Children shouldn't have to rock themselves. But, this is what he is used to after 7 years, and it wasn't something that he could handle not doing on the first day. I tried to rock him, walk him, hold him. He let me, but there was no way he could actually go to sleep that way.
I wish I was a more eloquent person, because there is no way that my words can do this day justice. God has been so FAITHFUL to keep his promises to us, to bring us to this place, with this child - I truly, absolutely stand in awe! In April 2009, we requested to be matched with a child from www.reecesrainbow.org to pray for daily. Little did we know -- the baby peaking out of the picture that was mailed to us would in fact become our son! God's provision and providence throughout this entire process has left us amazed. There have been times of smooth sailing, and times of rough storms, but I can say that I know, know, know what it feels like to be led. And I am so humbled that God would allow us to follow Him, step by step.
Today, May 16, was Gotcha Day! We drove from Sofia to Kazanlak on Sunday afternoon, where we stayed the night. This morning, we left for the orphanage bright and early.
It was so nice to see the staff again, hug necks, smile, wish we could understand each other's languages...
We went into the director's office to talk for a few minutes. She has been the director of this particular orphanage for many years, even longer than Joel has lived there. He came to this orphanage when he was around 8 months old, so she has been responsible for him for the better part of 7 years. We gave her the gifts that we had brought, both from ourselves and from friends. She took the clothes that we brought for him to wear to one of his caregivers so they could dress him. The director also gave us a few pictures of Joel from his earlier years. Marty (our driver, who is also our facilitator's brother) brought Joel into the office to us. I don't really think that he has changed much since our last visit, although I know that he has learned some new things. He did not seem to really recognize us (I expected that he probably would not), but he is comfortable with us.
After we hugged him, kissed him, and just all around loved on him, we went to the day care center at the orphanage to tell his caregivers and friends "Good-bye." The teachers were emotional, in a good way, but still teary. They were so happy to see him leaving for his new life. We asked questions about his eating and sleeping schedule. One of the teachers (a very kind lady who we enjoyed meeting on our first trip) brought him some flowers that grow in Bulgaria. As best I can remember, I think they are a symbol of health.
We took more pictures, then it was time to leave. The director (Dr. P.) brought out a bowl of water, which she poured out the door just before we walked out of the building. She said this is a Bulgarian custom that you walk over the water, and your life runs smoothly like a river from this point forward.
As we walked out, his teachers and some friends followed us out, waving at him and telling him "Good-bye!" This part made me sad for the children left behind, who want to be the ones leaving with Mamas and Daddies. We looked up on the roof of the orphanage, where there is a playground. Children from another group were playing there, and some had come to the fence to watch what was happening. This is the point where I got teary, thinking of how these children live, and hoping that they could all have Moms and Dads.
Joel was a good traveler, although I have to admit that part of this is because he has spent a good part of the day in his own little world. I think this is normal for him, but I also think that today it served as a coping mechanism. He will interact with us for a few minutes at a time, but he slips back into his self, grinding his teeth, shaking his head, making motorboat noises with his lips. He does allow us to hold him, even a good portion of the time when he is in his own little world. When we were visiting in December, he interacted much more as the week progressed, so I am sure that this will improve. Today was such an overwhelming day for him, I am sure.
I don't want to sound like he was sad or distant even, because we did get quite a few smiles and even some laughs. They were just mixed in with some "zoning" time, for lack of a better word.
He is asleep now, in a play-pen. I tried to lay down with him in our bed earlier, but he was not able to settle down like that at all. It was hard to listen to him in the play-pen, blowing his lips and rocking himself back and forth. I just wanted to rock him, because I am his mother and mothers rock their children. Children shouldn't have to rock themselves. But, this is what he is used to after 7 years, and it wasn't something that he could handle not doing on the first day. I tried to rock him, walk him, hold him. He let me, but there was no way he could actually go to sleep that way.
I am looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings. And I am so grateful to have had the blessing of today.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
We are here!
I am too tired to write a coherent post. When we arrived at the airport Friday morning, we were told that our first flight (to Chicago) had been cancelled. After about an hour of talking to the gate agent and our travel agent (then those two agents talking to each other), we had a new plan to fly to Houston, then Chicago, then Dusseldorf, then German.
1st leg to Houston, fine.
Houston to Chicago, delayed to past the time for our flight to Dusseldorf to take off.
Run to another flight, hoping to get on it to Chicago as stand-by passengers. No can do.
Back to first gate to Chicago.
Gate is moved. Go to new gate.
Flight delayed.
Board plane.
Sit on tarmac b/c of new delay.
Get off plane.
Lay on nasty floor of Houston airport b/c I have been gone from home for 10+ hours, have made negative progress, and am exhausted.
Back on plane.
Arrive in Chicago.
Book new flight to Munich (didn't make Dusseldorf).
Land in Munich 30 minutes before flight to Sofia takes off.
Run.
Get to gate in plenty of time because flight to Sofia is delayed.
We are here. We are glad. We are tired.
Will update on Monday.
1st leg to Houston, fine.
Houston to Chicago, delayed to past the time for our flight to Dusseldorf to take off.
Run to another flight, hoping to get on it to Chicago as stand-by passengers. No can do.
Back to first gate to Chicago.
Gate is moved. Go to new gate.
Flight delayed.
Board plane.
Sit on tarmac b/c of new delay.
Get off plane.
Lay on nasty floor of Houston airport b/c I have been gone from home for 10+ hours, have made negative progress, and am exhausted.
Back on plane.
Arrive in Chicago.
Book new flight to Munich (didn't make Dusseldorf).
Land in Munich 30 minutes before flight to Sofia takes off.
Run.
Get to gate in plenty of time because flight to Sofia is delayed.
We are here. We are glad. We are tired.
Will update on Monday.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Honestly...
I know we are so, so close.
But today he just seems so very far away.
And I just want him home. Now. With us.
It has been 2 years since I first saw his picture, 15 months since we began this adoption process, and 148 days since I kissed him good-bye at the orphanage and placed him in the arms of a caregiver.
This 5 month time period between trips is the hardest part.
Soon, very soon, a caregiver will hand him back to me!
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